Think about the last performance review where your boss highlighted areas for improvement, or recall a moment when a colleague pointed out a few mistakes in your work.

How did you react?

Did you feel like you had to defend yourself? Were you irritated, angry, or were you grateful for the input?

Why do you need feedback?

Being open to feedback is crucial for our growth – both personal and professional. Most of us don’t have a problem receiving positive feedback. In fact, we seek it because it makes us feel good. It assures us that we are on the right track. Positive feedback reinforces our beliefs and makes us more confident.

Receiving negative feedback, on the other hand, can be tough. It makes us realize our shortcomings. It can trigger feelings of anxiety, hurt, or defensiveness. However, if you stop and think about it, negative feedback is often more meaningful and useful for growth. This is because negative feedback:

• Helps you become more self-aware. Sometimes we can be blind to our flaws. It’s only when someone makes us aware of them that we are able to address them.
• Gives you a wider perspective. Sometimes, being too focused on our own work can give us tunnel vision. Feedback from others can provide you with a more complete view of things.
• Identifies important aspects of yourself, work, or project that you may not be seeing. This is related to seeing a wider perspective. When people provide feedback, they are often speaking from experience or applying their expertise. What they are sharing are gems that you can use to improve yourself and your work.

How do you accept negative feedback?

Negative feedback is precious. It should be something you seek and welcome, not something you avoid. You also gain trust from people around you when you can graciously accept criticism. It’s a skill you can start developing by doing the following:

1. Start by recognizing good intent

   Not everyone is out to get you. There are actually many people around you that want to be helpful! When colleagues reach out to give negative feedback, this shows that they have your back. It means they took time and effort to check out your work. They also care enough to tell you how you can improve it. Assuming positive intent helps you focus on what they are saying, and allows you to practice objectivity.

2. Practice deep, active listening

   Active listening means listening to understand, not to reply. Give your full attention to what they are saying. Focus on absorbing the information, not reacting to it.

3. Ask questions and take notes

   Ask clarifying questions, graciously. Tone is an important element here. Show genuine curiosity by framing your question politely. Ask for concrete examples so that you can get a clear picture of what they mean. You can also rephrase the feedback to make sure that you understood it correctly. You can say something like:

   “So, when you said that I can make the presentation stronger by adding graphics, did you mean adding graphs and charts?”

   “I agree with you that the report ran a little long. Do you have suggestions on which parts I can edit for brevity?”

   “When you say that I have to be assertive, what I’m hearing is that I have to delegate duties more and set deadlines for each task. Is this correct?”

   Write down the most important points of the feedback so you don’t forget. Taking notes also shows that you are paying attention and that you consider their feedback important.

4. Take time to reflect

   Process the feedback, not just agree or disagree immediately. Use your discretion but try to be as objective as you can. Ask yourself what lessons you learned. What’s your plan of action moving forward?

   In more complicated situations, it may help to discuss the issue with someone you trust (and someone who is objective). Sometimes, hashing it out with a friend can help you see things clearer.

5. Follow-up

   Touch base with your supervisor after making concrete changes to your performance. Ask them about your progress. Meet with the colleague who suggested improvements to your report and ask them what they think about your revisions.

   Throughout this process, practice professionalism by being gracious. Show that you value their input and time. Remember to thank them sincerely for their feedback.

 
Sources: How to accept constructive feedback for growth (without being defensive), Amy Gray, LinkedIn; How to take feedback like a pro, Kat Boogard, The Muse; and Are you receptive to feedback? Follow this step-by-step guide, Madelyn Miles. Accessed July 30, 2024.