“Keep in mind how important it is to be kind. Don’t be too embarrassed by your mistakes. Forgive others’ mistakes easily. Be willing to set aside your own ideas about what is `right’ and approach new situations with curiosity and an open mind.”
A personal experience:
I went to a summer fair with my nephew. We went in line for a carnival ride. A group of young girls followed behind us. I saw that one of my nephew’s shoelaces was untied. While tying it, the line moved forward.
One of the girls went ahead of us. She told the rest of her group to follow her.
Another girl in their group apologized to me. Then she said to her friend, “You are not in our country anymore. Cutting in line is not done here.” The girl who cut in line was confused. What she did was common in her country. She thought that it was the normal thing to do.
Social norms are difficult
- It can be hard for newcomers to see these norms.
- It’s not because we are uncivilized. It’s not about being wrong or right.
- Some things are just done differently in some cultures.
- Reasons can range from environmental factors to historical roots.
- Many norms can be hidden or hard to understand. You don’t know them if you have not lived in that certain place for a long time.
- Observing will help you see them. This will help you integrate smoothly and quickly in your new environment.
Here some Canadian social norms that I have observed:
Noise and etiquette
- You may be used to noise if you come from a highly populated country. City life means:
- vendors shouting
- loud music in the air
- car horns beeping
- People need to shout to be heard when talking outside.
- You don’t have to shout in Manitoba.
Order is seen in the environment.Neighbourhoods have clean pathways, parks and lawns.People do not cross the street everywhere. You cannot stop public transport wherever you want.There are areas to walk, wait, bike, and drive on.
- You should tone down your voice especially in public.
- Shouting or yelling are uncommon.
- It is not polite to speak loudly when chatting with friends or when using your phone in public.
- Loud and rough behaviour are not acceptable.
Some norms people will not tell you about:
- Don’t sneeze or cough on your hand or just freely. Do it in the crook of your arm.
- Cover your mouth when you yawn.
Don’t spit, clear your throat loudly, burp, slurp, and chew with your mouth open.
- Don’t yawn while talking or listening to someone.
- It implies that you are bored and do not want to listen.
People are sensitive to smells and scents.
- Don’t spit in the sink.
- Do it in the toilet.
Tipping is expected in restaurants, hotels or bars.
- If you have body odour or bad breath, no one will tell you. But people may avoid you.
- Don’t put on deodorant or perfume in a scent-free establishment.
- Those with scent allergies can get dizzy or sick.
Giving gifts can be misunderstood.
- Tip 15-20% of the bill before tax for good to great service.
- Tip 10% if the service was not so good.
- A tip of 5-10% of the bill is for food delivery service.
Think about personal space when you talk to people.
- It can put someone in an awkward position.
- They may feel uncomfortable because they do not have something to give back.
- They may think that you are bribing them.
- Observe how people in your workplace or community show appreciation before giving out gifts.
Always say “excuse me”, “I’m sorry”, “please”, and “thank you” when needed.Wait until everyone has gotten off before getting on the bus (or other public vehicles).Leave the door open and hold it for people behind you.Don’t be late. The right time to arrive for a meeting is 15 minutes early.
- Don’t stand too close to the person you’re talking to.
- Stay at an arm’s-length if possible.
Sense of humour
- Canadians are fun-loving. They also like to make fun of themselves.
Humour can be complicated. Do not make jokes if you don’t fully understand Canadian humour.It is more important to be respectful and kind than funny.Never make fun of how a person looks like, their salary, race, gender, or ethnicity. Don’t make negative comments about personal appearance.A good rule would be: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it.”
- They like small talk. They also joke around.
- It’s a way to make people feel welcome and relaxed in their company.
Community life is important
- You are expected to contribute to the community. You can donate money to causes. Give your time to volunteer. Did you know that Manitoba donates more than any other province?
- Help your neighbours. Cooperate by keeping the community clean, safe and orderly.
- people take care of each other. Everyone follows food or scent restrictions at school or work places. This is done to keep those who have allergies safe.
Too many things to remember?
- Don’t worry, everyone understands that adjusting takes time.
- Canadians are tolerant and helpful. They will understand that you are new.
- Always be kind. Keep an open mind.
- Observe and continue learning.
- Embrace the culture and you will get used to it.
- Just say sorry if you make a mistake.
- Take it easy on yourself. Try better next time.
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